It takes a village

It takes a village…

This is the phrase we have grown up hearing. It takes a village to raise a child. I’m coming to realize, it isn’t just in child raising...it takes a village. We as humans are not built to be alone. We crave and need meaningful relationships, and not just romantic ones. We need friends. We need a village. 

“In a Book Club Far Away” by Tif Marcelo, is the perfect story to make you miss your village like crazy right now. The story follows 3 women who became friends during a stay at a particular army base when all of their partners were stationed together. Adelaide, craving friendship starts a book club for the military spouses of her husband’s unit. Through this book club she creates her village. Regina and Sophie, along with Adelaide become each other's rocks, chosen family. Celebrating moments together, taking care of each other. Until right after the men return home and a scandal causes it all to fall apart. Sophie and Regina no longer speak, though each maintains a friendship with Adelaide. 

The three women are reunited a decade later when Adelaide sends an SOS to both Regina and Sophie, tricking them both to show up and help her through an operation while her husband is stationed elsewhere. Secrets and drama explode, yet can you really ever sever the bonds of chosen family? 

I was honestly surprised in the first book club scene. Given the description of the book I assumed the book club was only the three main characters. But I loved the book club scenes, and that while Adelaide, Sophie and Regina were a level all to themselves, they did cultivate and a larger loving community among their fellow spouses. Also I want to be a part of that book club, book club meetings where you’re doing fun events based off the book? Sign me up, but like seriously sign me up because my social anxiety wouldn't let me without someone dragging me. 

I can’t believe Regina stayed after Adelaide failed to mention she had called on Sophie as well. I would have been so pissed I would have left...maybe that makes me a bad friend...Regina did leave, but she came back. I probably wouldn’t have and I think that speaks to Regina’s level of character and loyalty. She was so incredibly hurt, and while her Ex is completely to blame for the entire situation it’s natural to lash out at someone else. To take it out on someone you love who’s fault it’s not because it’s easier. Regina found everything out immediately after giving birth, that her husband had cheated, that he was lying to her and that everyone she cared about knew. So she lashed out. 

I honestly think she lashed out at Sophie in particular because it was hard to see Sophie, happy with her partner and twins... While Regina, had believed her husband when he told her that the rumors were nothing more than rumors. Sophie was her idol as she later admits, she wanted to be just like Sophie, an incredible mother. I think on some subconscious level that it wasn’t just “Sophie ratted her husband out to command” it was more that Sophie had the life she wanted. It’s super crappy, but sometimes as humans we are jealous and crappy. 

For Sophie I completely understand why she gave up. I commend her for trying so hard to still be a godmother to Regina’s son. For reaching out for so long trying to be her friend and be there for her. But, zero judgement on her for giving up and stepping back, sometimes you have to respect that people don’t want you in their life whether you believe it justified or not. It’s also extremely exhausting to constantly pour into someone else’s cup when there is zero reciprocation. 

Chosen family is a very strong bond. People who become your chosen family, are people who often quickly assume a role in your life. They fit, they belong. There’s nothing you wouldn’t do for them. So I wasn’t entirely surprised when Regina turned around and came back after discovering Sophie at Adelaide’s house. When someone has meant so much to you for so long it’s hard not to be there for them. That being said, it took an incredible amount of strength to turn back around and show up. It took an incredible amount of strength from both women (Sophie and Regina) to peacefully coexist for a week, taking care of Adelaide and her daughter. 

As for Adelaide’s reveal that she had been the one to accidentally confirm the rumors about Regina’s
husband to command, resulting in his transfer without his wife mere weeks after her giving birth….Wow. I can understand why she kept that to herself, while it was incredibly hurtful to Sophie to be cut off by Regina, Regina had no one else, her marriage was a mess, she had a newborn and Adelaide is right, there’s a very real possibility that Regina would have cut her off as well and not reached back out to Sophie, effectively cutting herself off from her village and her entire support system when she so desperately needed support. By the time Regina was in a stable position again how do you breach that subject? I’m glad she finally came clean, that was an incredibly brave step for her, not that it makes it right that she stayed silent for so long. Though I do approve of her decision to choose not to hurt Regina more and support her instead. Regardless of who ratted him out, the ex had to go and Regina deserved the truth. Also Adelaide was not purposefully turning him in, she was venting to her husband who unfortunately could not keep the information to himself as it was literally his job to deal with matters like this. 

All in all I loved this novel. It was a beautiful portrayal of friendship and family. How some bonds aren’t made to ever be fully severed. The power of love and books to bring people together. I see myself reading this one over and over. I also can’t wait for my Mom to read it because gaaaaaaaaahhhhhh I need someone to talk to it about.