Despite the novel not "flowing" persay I loved reading "Everything Inside" by Edwidge Danticat. I actually found a similar tv series to follow while reading this novel...in the two days it took me to devour it. I found that having little snipets of each story was more than satisfying. It gave room for my imagination to fill in the blank. It was refreshing to have only a portion of a story, not their entire life, not everything leading up to a bunch of things, just a small window into their world.
It was unique, I don't think I've ever read a book like that before. It reminded me of humans of new york, my favorite pastime when I'm scrolling through social media. I love seeing the small snipets into average everyday life. The incredible things people have experienced, the hardship they have overcome. The story that they feel is most important to tell.
Reading this novel and realizing it's similarities to that blog made me wonder, do we all have one story that more or less defines us. Is it something these people have to think about? Or when asked the question do they automatically know exactly that defining moment, the most important story of their life. The one that needs to be shared.
Sitting here writing this and contemplating the concept, I at first felt overwhelmed. I was about to type that I didn't have a "defining" story, that there wasn't one moment or time in life, or person that specifically jumped out and needed to be shared. But as I was typing that I didn't have one, I was hit with it. Is that how it happens, you think "no I don't have a story" and then it hits you with a force. You instantly know the most defining thing about your life thus far.
Mine began 5 years ago when I was in labor with my son. Everything about that night went wrong. I was in too much pain, the baby was clearly in distress and so was I but my nurse wasn't paying attention. I nearly passed out when she tried unsuccessfully to get the IV in my hand because she wouldn't listen to me. It went downhill from there. I hurt my husband's feelings because I cried for my mom. Hastily covering it up with the fact that it was Friday and there would be traffic making the two hour drive longer, I didn't want her to miss it. But I saw his face, I will never forget the hurt and disappointment that flashed over his face when I cried that I wanted my mom.
The anesthesiologist wouldn't let my husband be in the room while he shoved a needle in my spin to numb the pain, while the same nurse talked to me about how an LGBTQ club in Paris was currently being shot up...
The epidural was wrong, I should probably be more grateful that I'm not paralyzed as it went to only one side was no longer in pain, to I could not feel or move anything below my chest. Thankfully at this point my Mom showed up. She took charge, chasing an older nurse down the hall and bullying her into looking more closely at the fetal monitor. Less than 15 minutes after she did the same thing that embarrassed me in high school (not stopping till she got exactly what she wanted from the administration). I was in a cold operating room still sobbing as the doctor stitched me up and a nurse reminded me that everything was okay, the baby was out and being evaluated in the next room with his dad and I was okay.
This event set off 4 years of intense anxiety and depression as I recovered from what I realized much later was my almost death. As well as my amazing son's almost death. While my husband may have been hurt by me crying "I want my Mom". I will say that was my first motherly intuition, that if my Mom had not shown up and known what to look for and threw her weight in there I would have at the very least lost my baby, let alone potentially my own life given how much distress my body was in at the time.
And there you have it. Give yourself a minute, maybe even try and tell yourself you don't have a defining moment, because I guarantee you have one. You might just not know it yet.
"Everything Inside" by Edwidge Danticat
https://www.google.com/books/edition/Everything_Inside/-OV8DwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=0
Comments
Post a Comment